Stuck in the mud.

Today certainly started out well ... exploring and taking pictures with my friends, Shawn and Scott. We went to an abandoned bar, an abandoned house and an abandoned hospital all before lunch. Lunch was at a small pub in Monticello and that was fun, too. Afterwards they had to hit the road so I kept exploring. After all, I still had a good three hours of daylight left.

Off I went. 

I knew there was an old abandoned camp nearby, off of Anawana Lake Rd, but I had not been there in over 10 years. I looked at Google Maps on my iPhone and then headed up Anawana Lake Rd. I passed a large white house and some smaller buidlings that all seemed to be abandoned. This was not the camp I was looking for, but it felt like I was in the right area.

In my mind, the road I was looking for would have been to the left of the big white house. I turned on to what looked like a driveway ... but it went further, behind the house and beyond the property into the woods.

Even if this might not be the road I was looking for, it certainly was interesting. What the hell is back there, anyway? I kept driving and passed two large empty containers. Not sure what was going on there.

By now, the road was no longer paved. I kept on going, anyway. It had quickly gone from gravel to mud. Not good. I'm not stupid. I quickly turned my car around to leave. Great, it wouldn't go forward, or backward. I was stuck in the mud. I'm an idiot.

NO FUCKING WAY.

It was only 1:40 in the afternoon and I was already stuck in the fucking mud.

Next thing ya know, my car starts sliding backwards. All I could think of was that if I could get to a dry spot I could at least drive the fuck out of there. Maybe I could drive through the woods. No such luck. My car slid and slid and slid until I was even further from where I needed to be.

Okay, time to stop fucking around. I'll be okay. I have a phone. I'm an adult. Tried to call my friend Shawn but the call wouldn't go through. I tried to send a text. No such luck. I called AAA several times and the call dropped each time. I was getting nervous and having trouble working my phone. My hands were shaking and my mouth was getting very dry. I had suddenly turned into a fumbling old person and the view from my windshield was scaring the shit out of me. 

I could see the abandoned white house in the distance so I couldn't be THAT far from the main road, could I? I kept trying and finally got through to someone at AAA and explained what happened. I also tried to explain where I was. I knew I was off of Anawana Lake Rd, about a mile into the woods, but how the hell would anyone know where that was? The voice on the phone asked me what I was doing there ... and if I was a surveyor. I said, "no, I thought I was on a road that connected with another road ... but apparenlty it doesn't."

I was starting to feel better ... 

... then the call dropped. 

Mother fuck. 

Out of frustration I got out of the car and walked through the mud to the main road. Every time I passed the big abandoned white house I wondered if someone was actually in there ... watching.  Damn, it was getting cold and stupid ass me didn't have anything but a sweatshirt. I looked at my iPhone and it was now 39°. I was shivering and prayed that every car heading up the road towards me was going to be the tow truck coming to my rescue. 

After a few minutes, my fucking phone had drained so fast that I thought I'd better go back to my truck and get my charger. The problem with that was, if the tow truck drove by while I was away from the road I'd be screwed. I went back to the car anyway, grabbed my charger and then walked back to the main road and stood there like a big moron. 

But wait a minute. Why was my goddamn phone dead?  My charger was completely drained. Holy shit! I walked back to the car and plugged my phone into the USB port and left it there. I was really getting pissed and frustrated but knew I had to be on the main road in order for the tow truck to spot me. For all I knew, they already drove by.

Within 20 minutes a tow truck from AAA finally showed up. Praise Jesus. The driver was a young kid and not a friendly one. He grunted at me and then drove as far as he could and stopped just before the gravel road turned into mud.

He got out of his truck and walked the rest of the distance. He took a few pictures with his phone and then came back. He told me that he couldn't help me cause if he did — his truck would also end up getting stuck in the mud. He said he'd send the pictures to his boss to see what they could do. Since there was no signal where we were ... HE LEFT and said he'd be back. 

I was alone again. 

It was about 3PM now and it was very cloudy. 

I just kept thinking, "What if he never comes back?" "What if it gets dark?" "What am I going to do?" "What is that banjo I keep hearing?"

I went back to my car again — this time to check on my phone. IT WAS ONLY 9% CHARGED. IT WAS NOT CHARGING. What the fuck is going on here? I had a total panic attack and tried to call my friend Javier. When he answered the phone I started rambling like a lunatic, as I watched the phone drain before my eyes. I told him what happened and that the tow truck dude had left but said he was coming back. I sent Javier my location and it went through. At least someone knew where I was if the tow truck dude never came back.

He did come back, thank God. 


He told me that it would cost $500 to get me out of the mud because my truck was too far from dry land for their cable to reach and he'd have to go get a bulldozer. 

I said, "fine" but inside I was screaming, "FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND?"

He left again ... and said he'd be back. 

After 45 minutes I was starting to panic again. It would be dark by 4:30 and the thought of that was really freaking me out. I called AAA again and it went through. I asked what was going on and they said that someone should be back to help me soon.

Sure enough, the same kid came back only this time he had a flatbed truck, a buddy and a bulldozer. Neither one of those guys spoke to me or even looked at me. It was so strange. Maybe they were pissed cause I was ruining their afternoon. They got the bulldozer off of the flatbed truck and rode it down to where my truck was stuck. I walked behind them the entire way feeling like the worlds biggest loser. 

Tow truck dude got in my truck, and put it in neutral, while the other dude pulled it with the bulldozer. I prayed that I hadn't left "The Partridge Family Christmas Album" playing on the car stereo ... not that I even have it. 

Once again, and for the last time, I walked alllll the way back to the mother fucking road — following the bulldozer and my own freaking car. My shoes were covered in mud!

Once on the paved road, they unhooked the bulldozer and drove it back up on to the flatbed truck. I got in my car and handed over my credit card. That was it. Tow truck dude called it in and then handed it back to me. He mumbled, "Happy Holidays" with a lit cigarette dangling from the corner of his mouth.

I said, "Happy Holidays" back and drove out passed the big abandoned white house ...

... which I will have to go back to — and check out some day.