Thursday, November 5, 2015

The House That Tried To Kill Me


Today I explored an abandoned farmhouse that I originally spotted on Google Earth. From the aerial view, I could tell it was going to be spectacular in person. It appeared to be far from the main road and far from where I would have to park — but that wasn't going to stop me. Once I got to the area, I figured out that I would have to walk about a mile to and from my car. No problem. I grabbed my phone and my camera and walked until I was standing in front of this incredible, old, dilapidated farmhouse. Love it when that happens. It was right out of a horror movie ... weathered and crumbling and surrounded by crazy-ass trees. 

The best part? The front door was open.


Before going in, I wanted to scope out the area. I wandered around the exterior of the house and took a few pictures. Out back I found an old discarded motorcycle that was prettty cool. 


After a few minutes of exploring, I approached the front of the house and headed in cautiously. Immediately inside the front door was the living room. One wall was completely gone and the ceiling above was caving in. It was as if the back half of the house had been completely chopped off. That tells you what kind of shape this house was in:BAD. That should have been my first clue to get the fuck out. #idiot #moron #dumbass


To my right was a old brick fireplace, a cluster of living room chairs, a table, a broken TV set and a bunch of old 8-track tapes. How long had this place been abandoned — 40, 50 years? I pictured it in the middle of the night and in all kinds of crazy weather: hot and humid summer days, thunderstorms ... snowstorms. Good Lord. In my head I saw it all whizzing by on fast-forward.
I made my way around the first floor and into another room that had a fireplace and set of stairs. It was so dark that I couldn't really tell how safe the floor was. I took a few pictures from the doorway, to be safe. I hate to use a flash if I don't have to, so I lit up the room with my flashlight.


In one area of the same room, on the floor, was a skeleton. I could clearly see a ribcage. What the fuck was it? I'm guessing a deer. Yes, it had to be a deer. But why would there be a dead deer inside this old farmhouse? Did it jump through a broken window, cut itself and then bleed to death at the bottom of the stairs? Very bizarre.


Not much else to see on the first floor so it was time to go upstairs. I went over to the main staircase near the front door. I could tell the stairs were fine despite the fact that this house was in such bad shape that it was crooked. It was like a freaking fun house.
The first bedroom I peeked in had an entire wall missing and I could see right into the woods. Kinda crazy. No way was I going to go into that bedroom. I took some shots from the doorway and then turned around and headed across the hall. 
I peeked around the corner and could see there was a room with a bunch of mattresses in it. I did not go into that room either because I did not trust the floor. Once again, I took a shot from the doorway. Wish I had found this house 10 years earlier!
I found two toothbrushes as well as two razors in the bathroom on the 2nd floor. I took a bunch of close ups. Nasty stuff!


In the hallway, on the second floor landing, was an old record player. That was an awesome find. I used to have one just like it. One of the speakers was there next to it and the other one was smashed on the floor. Love finding old stuff like that!

After drooling over the old record player, I made my way over to the stairs leading up to the third floor. Before heading up I walked around to the other side of the staircase to look at the underside and make sure it was sturdy and safe. It looked good. I went back to the other side where the stairs went up to the third floor. I looked up and snapped a picture.


Click. The next thing I remember was being outside in front of the house saying outloud, “You’re okay”, “You’re okay”, “You’re fine”, “You’re okay” ... the way grown ups talk to little kids when they fall. I was walking around in circles — trying to figure out what happened. I looked down at my hands and arms and they were covered with dirt. My left arm was cut and bleeding. I continued speaking outloud, “You’re okay”, “Nothing’s broken”, “You’re fine” …


I was so disoriented that I sat down. I was terrified to move at first, scared that something was broken or seriously wrong. I quickly took off my shirt and examined it for rips or blood or anything. There was nothing but specs of fine dirt. I started feeling my shoulders, my legs, my head. I couldn't really find anything seriously wrong. 

I grabbed my camera and started snapping pictures to distract myself and pretend everything was fine. I took a picture in every direction. It also ocurred to me that my camera had survived the fall, as well. Good, cause IT WAS BRAND FUCKING NEW, as I had just picked it up earlier that morning from Best Buy. 

I reached into my back pocket and pulled out my iPhone.

It was fine.

How is that possible?

And what the fuck happened?

One minute I'm on the second floor landing, looking up the stairs leading to the attic and then the next — I'm outside walking around in circles, with blood dripping down my arm.


According to the time stamp on my pictures, ten minutes had gone by from when I took the shot looking up to the attic and then outside after the fall.

I don’t remember much. I do have a vision of seeing my feet up in the air in front of me, but I'm not sure if that really happened or if I am imagining that, after the fact.

Ironic that I have been wearing a hard hat lately when I explore but this time I didn’t put it on. I think I was so anxious and excited to find this house that I wasn’t thinking straight. It also happened so fast that I didn't have a chance to tense up. 

When I saw the condition of this house I should have never even attempted to go upstairs. I mean, the back of the freaking house was missing, for Christ’s sake. #dumbass #moron #idiot 



And like I said, it was right out of a horror movie. Jason or Freddy or Michael  or Leatherface was surely going to jump out any minute now. 


After a good 30 minute rest, I stepped back in the doorway of the house to see where I had fallen and where I had landed. There was a pile of rotten wood on the ground — so rotten that it was like dirt. That was the dirt all over me and in my hair. Up above there was a dark space and a piece of carpeting dangling where I had fallen through. It had to be a 9-11 foot drop, in very close quarters — next to a broken window. #superdumbass! #completeidiot! #stupidmoron!


As I headed back to my car I sent a text to my friends, Randy, Shawn, Javier and Donna, to let them know what happened and that I was okay. I was still in a fog and had a long walk ahead of me.


Once back in the car I used wet wipes to clean up. Thank God for wet wipes! There was still a significant amount of dirt in my hair ... but I was okay. 

Frankly, I am not sure how I managed to NOT get seriously hurt. I really could have broken something or have been killed. It’s a miracle I did not land on my head or worse yet, fall through to the basement. 

Was there even a basement?

I think I need to go back and check. 

Shit.






















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